I used to like the idea that one’s existence could be measured
By the memories of others
That to be forgotten, one would cease to exist
I used to like the idea
I didn’t think anyone felt I was worth existing
To be forgotten was just normal in my life
A friend here or there
Show them a kind smile when they needed it
And be forgotten with the unyielding passage of time
But that was then, and I was a child
And thought I was immune to time
That I would not change like those I allowed
As if I had that authority over others
What a laugh
They took pieces of my existence
Lost like their memories
I feel I am almost gone
Thrown out like trash
That was a child’s dream, once
To cease to exist when what could be done was done
But as I look at my reflection
All I see is a disfigured beast
Eyes not so much hollow
But the claws of demons of my own creation
Piercing through those black pools
Blinding me and slaughtering my defenses
The guards of my mind lay in pools of blood
When once they kept a watchful eye over such darkness
That may have had free passage, but was subservient
What is this torture of the mind
That this freak, this monster, this blind fool
Who used to toy with the idea of memories
Now wishes to be remembered
But wishes he did not exist
For those he believes see worth in him
Slip from their minds like as before

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